#8051920 - 01/19/15 06:13 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: furball]
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c2k
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 05/21/00
Posts: 19323
Loc: Wiesloch-Walldorf, Germany
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1) Keep the career going
- There's no need to have the wife sit idle and just be a stay-at-home mom, no matter how much she makes, or whether she has a career vs a job. The point is, she will continue to grow/maintain her skills, versus being out of the workforce. Even if you break-even with the wife working and the costs of a nanny ....
- Case in point: I know someone who stayed at home as a mommy for 10+ years. Just got divorced, and she's fucked. She gave up everything including almost completing a financial designation... It's all gone, and she's looking at entry-level jobs. Even her MS Office skills are shot.
she must really had a really shitty divorce lawyer bc I do know of a few guys who got fucked by their ex wives and ended up paying out of their ass for child support AND alimony.
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#8052073 - 01/19/15 08:39 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Simon_the_Pieman]
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zc911
Ferrari4Sale 😎
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 01/01/00
Posts: 16451
Loc: toronto
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Best of luck!
and congrats 
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#8052189 - 01/19/15 10:50 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Screamin' Type-R]
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hyper-s2k
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 12/01/05
Posts: 14556
Loc: T dot O dot, Canada
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Congrats, OP!
Wow - 4 kids; is that a Club Si Ontario record?
As for getting a nanny - it would make sense financially if you and the wife have good paying jobs; cost of 1 nanny (assuming they are brave enough to take on 4 by themselves) will outweigh the cost of daycare for sure. Even with 2 nannies, you'd still come out ahead.
It's hit or miss with nannies (according to a few friends that have them); esp. the ones from overseas agencies - most of them will be good to you until they get their PR, then they disappear (one friend gone through 5 nannies in 7 years; the most epic story was they were at the airport waiting to pick up the new nanny but she never showed; probably just got into the country and disappeared).
The Van - you may not need 2 -- from the scenario you described; you maybe able to get away w/ 1 5-seater vehicle as the 2nd car; so that if you ever have to swap the task of driving all 4 kids; just swap cars instead. (realistic scenario would be take 2 of the 4 kids -- since the older 2 will be doing swimming / camp / school -- while the twins will be off to somewhere else).
Hope you kept some of the baby stuff from the first two to offset the costs; I will also ask around for twins stuff (a friend's set of twins are now 2 -- so they should have a lot of baby crap they can offload to a good home - if they haven't already).
As for family help - they may not be able to offset a lot for you financially; but a few hours of babysitting the older two or cooking meals for you guys will mean a lot too. Hell, even after school pick ups is a deal maker for me.
Good luck!
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#8052346 - 01/20/15 07:24 AM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: hyper-s2k]
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zc911
Ferrari4Sale 😎
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 01/01/00
Posts: 16451
Loc: toronto
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My wife is from a 4 child family (3 boys 1 girl), and when looking back at family photos, her mom always has funniest look on her face. It's a combo of exhausted, and help me lol
But her dad was pretty absent, i dunno how her mom did it.
I'll put my 2 cents in for the nanny/baby sitting. I am a fan of a stay at home mom if it's possible and the mom/wife wants too.
This may sound wrong but it's not ment to be lol, but why have 4 kids if you are going to pawn them off on a baby sitter/nanny?
I told my wife the exact same thing, so dont be offened.
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#8052629 - 01/20/15 10:43 AM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: SuPeR-MaRiO]
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Lafora
Post Master Sr
Registered: 12/16/01
Posts: 4623
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the ideal ratio for twins is 1.5 adults per kid, especially at the beginning. I have a set, and while I don't know what it'd be like to have a set PLUS a toddler and a small child, I can't imagine it being easier.
if relatives say "let us know how we can help", just take them at their word for it. we did; and thank god because i would've offed someone very early on had it not been the case.
it helps being fraternal, because identical brings another set of complications into the equation. won't bore you with details; but at least your wife won't need u/s every week / 2 weeks
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#8052676 - 01/20/15 10:57 AM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Screamin' Type-R]
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spd-dmn
Post Master
Registered: 11/24/04
Posts: 2271
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luls. let the spending begin!
why stop at pilot?
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#8052691 - 01/20/15 11:04 AM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Euphoricuck]
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Big Tasty
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 02/10/02
Posts: 20020
Loc: Toronto
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Oh and for carseats, go with Diono. Not sure about the newer lines but we were able to do 3 carseats across in our Santa fe with the Radians.
http://ca.diono.com/car-seats
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#8052745 - 01/20/15 11:21 AM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: SuPeR-MaRiO]
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Big Tasty
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 02/10/02
Posts: 20020
Loc: Toronto
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OP, 2016 honda pilot is looking badass...not sure re. price range, but something to consider?  How easy is it to get to the back of these SUVs with third rows when there are car seats strapped into the second row? In my limited experience, almost impossible. I need to be able to get back there to buckle/strap in the other two. Oh and for carseats, go with Diono. Not sure about the newer lines but we were able to do 3 carseats across in our Santa fe with the Radians. http://ca.diono.com/car-seats if I only had three kids, then yes I would definitely go for slimmer car seats so that I can fit them all in one row. But either way, I need two rows ... even without ANY car seats!
Slimmer carseats give you more room for anyone else. Well unless the vehicle has all captain seats.
I found the best 3rd row arrangement for an SUV to be the X5. Not that I can afford it but it was the only one that had the 2nd row seats tilt forward (back and base) to allow a fixed car seat to remain while getting into the 3rd row.
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#8052849 - 01/20/15 11:58 AM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: SuPeR-MaRiO]
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Screamin' Type-R
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 02/20/01
Posts: 47961
Loc: T.O. - Canaduh
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OP, 2016 honda pilot is looking badass...not sure re. price range, but something to consider? How easy is it to get to the back of these SUVs with third rows when there are car seats strapped into the second row? In my limited experience, almost impossible. I need to be able to get back there to buckle/strap in the other two.
It's a full model change and i believe there was a redesign to answer something 'similar' to address your concern. I dont have that far into the details tho...so best bet would be check it out at a dlr when you have time (lol, i know hard to do).
honestly from what others said, getting a cheap dodge grand caravan is prob the best bet, since it'll be used and abused by the kiddies.
Edited by Screamin DC2R (01/20/15 11:59 AM)
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#8052933 - 01/20/15 12:27 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Screamin' Type-R]
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f22b-dohc
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 09/09/05
Posts: 11227
Loc: canadia
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wow OP congrats... u have twins in your family?
i have twins from both sides of my rents (my uncle was a twin, and cousins from mom side + my cousins on my dad side were twins ... was told it skips a gen...
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#8053090 - 01/20/15 01:47 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Big Tasty]
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Lafora
Post Master Sr
Registered: 12/16/01
Posts: 4623
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the ideal ratio for twins is 1.5 adults per kid, especially at the beginning. I have a set, and while I don't know what it'd be like to have a set PLUS a toddler and a small child, I can't imagine it being easier.
it helps being fraternal, because identical brings another set of complications into the equation. won't bore you with details; but at least your wife won't need u/s every week / 2 weeks We managed pretty well with our twins and older daughter (3yrs older). I don't see the extra issues with identicals, as the parents you are able to distinguish between the two pretty quickly. Outside of constantly being asked all the twin questions it is the same stuff.
Has nothing to do with distinguishing them. Our test for NT got flagged, so they were thinking Down's, then they ruled Down's out but suspected twin-twin trasfusion. Fraternals wont have twin-twin, much less stressful as parents
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#8053258 - 01/20/15 02:40 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: SuPeR-MaRiO]
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titty sprinkles
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 17401
Loc: Toronto,Ontario
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OP, 2016 honda pilot is looking badass...not sure re. price range, but something to consider? How easy is it to get to the back of these SUVs with third rows when there are car seats strapped into the second row? In my limited experience, almost impossible. I need to be able to get back there to buckle/strap in the other two. Oh and for carseats, go with Diono. Not sure about the newer lines but we were able to do 3 carseats across in our Santa fe with the Radians. http://ca.diono.com/car-seats if I only had three kids, then yes I would definitely go for slimmer car seats so that I can fit them all in one row. But either way, I need two rows ... even without ANY car seats!
sounds like you can benefit from a van with captin chairs, so that you can easily access the back. odyssey touring? perhaps a sienna?
also nothing wrong with a nanny imo, for some people it's hard to stay and home, they need to be out and working to keep their sanity.
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#8053271 - 01/20/15 02:45 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Big Tasty]
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SuPeR-MaRiO
Post Master Sr
Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 6241
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
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Additionally, once kids start JK, they are no longer being "raised" by a nanny. And hopefully we won't need one at that time. Having a stay at home mom when all the kids are in school full time, is for doing house work, meals, etc. While I would like my wife to be a stay-at-home-mom, not sure there is an advantage once kids are in school vs continuing her career + making $$$ + benefits + pension Super hard choice to make for sure. I told my wife i would stay home if it came to it and she can work When kids are in school i'll find another job. I love staying home with my daughter,and would totally do it in a heart beat.
wow OP congrats... u have twins in your family?
Oh ok, sorry. We went through a Down's scare with our first daughter. They did a calculation based on age, race and other factors and flagged us. When we got into the office they look at my wife and said she was "mixed race" so they had to recalculate. Turned out we had a 0.9% chance for Downs and they suggested an amnio test but the risk involved in that was 1% which they brushed off as insignificant.
So I am like, why are you making us freak out over the 0.9% but brushing off the 1%. We ended up not doing it and she came out fine.
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#8053281 - 01/20/15 02:48 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: titty sprinkles]
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SuPeR-MaRiO
Post Master Sr
Registered: 06/28/01
Posts: 6241
Loc: Toronto, Ontario
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OP, 2016 honda pilot is looking badass...not sure re. price range, but something to consider? How easy is it to get to the back of these SUVs with third rows when there are car seats strapped into the second row? In my limited experience, almost impossible. I need to be able to get back there to buckle/strap in the other two. Oh and for carseats, go with Diono. Not sure about the newer lines but we were able to do 3 carseats across in our Santa fe with the Radians. http://ca.diono.com/car-seats if I only had three kids, then yes I would definitely go for slimmer car seats so that I can fit them all in one row. But either way, I need two rows ... even without ANY car seats! sounds like you can benefit from a van with captin chairs, so that you can easily access the back. odyssey touring? perhaps a sienna? also nothing wrong with a nanny imo, for some people it's hard to stay and home, they need to be out and working to keep their sanity.
Ya that's exactly where my head is at with the vans. What I found surprising is that with the Odyssey and Sienna, the captain's chairs are only available on the base model. For all other models they come with the bench and you have to remove the middle section of the bench (where the heck am I going to store that?) The market it as the base has seating for 7 whereas the upper models have seating for 8.
The Caravan however have it the opposite. The bench is offered in the base model and is not removable, and the captains chairs are offered in the upper models.
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#8054249 - 01/20/15 10:50 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: titty sprinkles]
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spd-dmn
Post Master
Registered: 11/24/04
Posts: 2271
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#8054262 - 01/20/15 10:59 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: titty sprinkles]
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Hatorade
pheggit
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 11/05/99
Posts: 26917
Loc: Toronto, ON
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really? i remember a while back my brother had a odyssey touring from work and it had the captin chairs...it was a while ago so it must have been like the 2010 or something. regardless, if i remember how the new mdx 3rd row seating was, if you had two kid seats in the middle and were trying to get kid #3 + #4 in the back you'd hate life. hell this weekend i requested a mdx for a loaner and i'm imagining it being a big enough pain in the ass to fit 3 other adults, luggage, and two kid seats (one rear facing) in it.  come to think about it even in florida when i rented a yukon XL it was a pain to access the 3rd row.
Is it just me, or do you go to the dealer a lot? In the 3.5yrs I owned the 335d I only went in 3 times and that was for oil change...
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#8054270 - 01/20/15 11:08 PM
Re: Embarking on quite the journey, ver. life
[Re: Hatorade]
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iamfob
Post Master Supreme
Registered: 09/06/02
Posts: 24698
Loc: Out There
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really? i remember a while back my brother had a odyssey touring from work and it had the captin chairs...it was a while ago so it must have been like the 2010 or something. regardless, if i remember how the new mdx 3rd row seating was, if you had two kid seats in the middle and were trying to get kid #3 + #4 in the back you'd hate life. hell this weekend i requested a mdx for a loaner and i'm imagining it being a big enough pain in the ass to fit 3 other adults, luggage, and two kid seats (one rear facing) in it. come to think about it even in florida when i rented a yukon XL it was a pain to access the 3rd row. Is it just me, or do you go to the dealer a lot? In the 3.5yrs I owned the 335d I only went in 3 times and that was for oil change...
I remember he posted something about milking the warranty before it expires. But sounds like TSX has a lot of defects/recalls/problems?
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